Wednesday, August 22, 2012
Tonight I hosted open mic. I honestly forgot how amazing the talent is in my humble neighborhood. Another more important finding is that I am finally out of my depression. Today was a great day. But perhaps the most important, rather, pertinent finding was a photograph print that Rosemary, a regular to the coffee shop and friend, gave to me. I found that behind the sound equipment while cleaning up. It's of a set of city steps from the 1950s. An old wooden set was being replaced with the new concrete steps. There the two sets sit next to one another. the old and the new. sharing a brief moment before the old wooden steps get demolished. It's a beautiful picture. it makes us think of the ever-changing, ever improving mentality we have. Evolve. Those concrete steps still exist today, weathered and overgrown. Worn out. they were once new. Will they be replaced? No. we've found ways of getting around them. We've forgotten them but we have not done away with them. There is no progress to be made on that path. Instead, we let them crumble on their own.
Bennifer Lopez, Bennifer Gray, Bennifer Beals al rolled into one
Nathan took his Nephew, Caden to New Mexico leaving me here to rule over the domain. I vowed to clean the shop in his absence getting rid of all the bull shit that's built up over the last three years that Nate never knows what to do with. There are mountains of it in the shop's basement: broken tables and chairs, musical instruments that no one ever plays, a box of random lost and found clothing, crates full of things we used to need but need no longer yet somehow can't seem to get rid of...Like the 2 broken printers, the broken desktop computer and the broken desk it resides on. In addition there us just a bunch of, for lack of a better word, crap that can't even be categorized. It's all going away. Then, when it's empty, I will get a huge mirror for the wall and a bar and start my dance studio. Specializing in modern interpretive dance. I am also installing a bucket that hangs from the ceiling that I can pull a chain and have it dump on me, just like in "flash dance" it's going to be sweet. Once I get all toned and ready, I'm auditioning for Julliard with this sweet Ballet/hip hop routine that my inner city rapper boyfriend helped inspire. It's going to be hard perfecting my leaps because, well, it's a basement so the ceiling is really low....maybe I should try break dancing instead of modern interpretive ballet hip hop.
Thursday, August 16, 2012
Sunshine and rainbows.
It may be of no news to anyone but I am one cynical bastard. I am sultry, brooding, and I don't like people all that much. I like to watch people, it's entertaining. I judge peoples' stupidity yes, and maybe that makes me a bad person. Who is to judge that? I don't believe in god. I don't have faith in humanity, I don't really even have faith in my friends and they are the only people I actually choose to be around albeit seldom.
People in everyday life for me fall into categories.
Let's pretend they're Coins.
Quarters:worth keeping in case you need to pay the meter or buy a gum ball. They come in handy indeed. They are real friends and true in life as well, you only really need 4of them. Any more than that and they begin to weigh you down.
Dimes: thin, flimsy, but get enough of them together and you got a party. They are like Facebook friends that you never speak to in real life. You most likely met them at a party while drunk. You exchanged facebooks on your smartphones and act at the time like you would be true blue till the day the earth stands still. But that is the only time you'll even speak to a dime again. They are the smallest of the coins. acquaintances that you have no intention on ever making friends.
Nickels: thick, usually fat, you sometimes think they're quarters but soon realize their true nature and it ultimately pisses you off. They tend to be the kind of people so wrapped up in themselves that they don't notice you don't even like them and still hang around like Christmas decoration in July. You can put two dimes and a nickel together but you still don't have a quarter.
Pennies: the only thing pennies are good for is making the rest of the loose change accumulating in your jar seem better. Pennies are filler. They are the random people you run in to every day, their worth is subjective...all of these coins worth is subjective really. One nickel may be another D&D player's half dollar. Pennies are the things you don't have time for, the people in the world that you can never expect to know on a quarter basis.
But money isn't everything. As much of a cynical bastard as I am, I am not all that bad. I really like animals too. Not more than people but...they're delicious. And dogs are fun to be around. Cats piss me off. Why couldn't I have been born an animal. Then it would be ok, expected, if I killed other animals.
People in everyday life for me fall into categories.
Let's pretend they're Coins.
Quarters:worth keeping in case you need to pay the meter or buy a gum ball. They come in handy indeed. They are real friends and true in life as well, you only really need 4of them. Any more than that and they begin to weigh you down.
Dimes: thin, flimsy, but get enough of them together and you got a party. They are like Facebook friends that you never speak to in real life. You most likely met them at a party while drunk. You exchanged facebooks on your smartphones and act at the time like you would be true blue till the day the earth stands still. But that is the only time you'll even speak to a dime again. They are the smallest of the coins. acquaintances that you have no intention on ever making friends.
Nickels: thick, usually fat, you sometimes think they're quarters but soon realize their true nature and it ultimately pisses you off. They tend to be the kind of people so wrapped up in themselves that they don't notice you don't even like them and still hang around like Christmas decoration in July. You can put two dimes and a nickel together but you still don't have a quarter.
Pennies: the only thing pennies are good for is making the rest of the loose change accumulating in your jar seem better. Pennies are filler. They are the random people you run in to every day, their worth is subjective...all of these coins worth is subjective really. One nickel may be another D&D player's half dollar. Pennies are the things you don't have time for, the people in the world that you can never expect to know on a quarter basis.
But money isn't everything. As much of a cynical bastard as I am, I am not all that bad. I really like animals too. Not more than people but...they're delicious. And dogs are fun to be around. Cats piss me off. Why couldn't I have been born an animal. Then it would be ok, expected, if I killed other animals.
Wednesday, August 15, 2012
El Americano Argumento
The Cafe Americano is defined as watered down espresso. It is a very popular drink in coffee shops around the USA and abroad. The name for this insipid excuse for delicious coffee comes from World War II American GI's that were stationed in Europe. They longed for the brewed black coffee of home but even to this day, European coffee houses only serve espresso. Always inventive and ingenious, the Americans added hot water to their espresso to attempt to produce something that resembled the "Maxwell House" and "Folger's" brands of home. Baristas of Europe probably didn't name the drink Americano so much as mumbled, annoyed, the word in the presence of a military man. "here comes those crazy American's again with their dumb coffee habits...well they did save us from the Nazis." Happy to oblige, the good bartender always gives his customer what he/she wants.
I find myself with this same dilemma. Just as I imagine the baristas of 1940s Europe were frustrated at the ignorant Americans, I am likely more annoyed with Americano drinkers today. Here's why:
1)I spend a lot of energy and care in making perfect espresso. Adding water to it ruins it.
2)There isn't any more caffeine in espresso than a cup of regular brewed coffee. Now if you were to order an entire 16oz cup full with as many shots of espresso that would fit in it, then you'd probably have a heart attack but I couldn't argue with you about what has more caffeine.
3)Coffee in the States hasn't always been great. There was no craft coffee and no places to get espresso. It was just your typical boiled down glass pot of freeze dried crystals reconstituted with city water, fluoride, and chlorine. You'd make it taste better with copious amounts of cream and sugar. Ever had coffee at Denny's or someplace similar? Maybe your grandparents or even your parents still claim they like their coffee that way...sure they do. Therefore the GI's in WWII didn't know any better. Well we for sure know better now. The USA is at the forefront of coffee house culture and consumption, roasting quality, etc. There is no excuse for bad coffee. the rise in coffee culture has a similar arc to the rise in technology and the information age...connected? I wonder. Just as we've moved on from using fax machines, we've moved on from drinking bad coffee...well most of us.
4)Americano's are too much of a pain in the ass for something that tastes like ass. To grind, dose, tamp, clean, and pull two whole shots with a line of people at the counter is nerve-wracking. To do it for one drink is annoying. To ruin both of those carefully made shots by diluting the flavor is maddening. I could argue this same fact about many other drinks that go across my counter but do remember this is just about Americanos.
5) The war is over and your local coffee shops offer regular brewed coffee too: Thanks to the world war for bringing knowledge and love of espresso home to us in the good old USofA. Let's think about the American coffee house's offerings vs. the European coffee house's:
Europe- Espresso with varying amounts of steamed milk. Liquor
USA- Brewed coffee, french press, pour over, chemex, espresso, mocha, white mocha, chai tea latte, cappuccino, latte, breve, cortado, gibraltar, shot in the dark, red eye, decaf, iced espresso drinks, cold-brewed coffee, and the list goes on and on endlessly. some coffee shops in the states have liquor too but more often than not, they don't. sad. Back to coffee.
The American coffee houses' variety aims to replicate the coffee houses of the old country, or should I say countries. See, the French are different from the Italians whom differ from the Spanish when it comes to how they like their coffee too. Some drinks have different names but are essentially the same thing. Like the cappuccino the latte and the cafe con leche. The only difference is where you get them. If you come to the States, all of these drinks exist, sometimes at one coffee shop. Yet they are all different...Why? Because we are a bunch of pretentious idiots over here. We have to have so many choices...ALL the choices. It's like when the sexual revolution happened. We had to have all the sex with everyone that we possibly could. Then we calmed down and went into the 80's.
I've heard said that the cappuccino is just foamier than a latte and that's the only difference. Ask an Italian and they will tell you they are the only people that know how to make a true Cappuccino. Ask the French and they will tell you they don't give a fuck what the Italians think, their coffee is better. Ask the Spanish and they will look at you all stank-eyed and tell you not to worry about things so trivial when the nation is in a financial crisis. I've had the famed Primanti Brothers' Sandwich at the original location but I bet I could make a better sandwich. I'm awesome at making sandwiches and I am awesome at making coffee. So trust me, let the watering down of the espresso STOP! In the future, Americano drinkers, just get brewed coffee. It tastes better and does the same thing.
I find myself with this same dilemma. Just as I imagine the baristas of 1940s Europe were frustrated at the ignorant Americans, I am likely more annoyed with Americano drinkers today. Here's why:
1)I spend a lot of energy and care in making perfect espresso. Adding water to it ruins it.
2)There isn't any more caffeine in espresso than a cup of regular brewed coffee. Now if you were to order an entire 16oz cup full with as many shots of espresso that would fit in it, then you'd probably have a heart attack but I couldn't argue with you about what has more caffeine.
3)Coffee in the States hasn't always been great. There was no craft coffee and no places to get espresso. It was just your typical boiled down glass pot of freeze dried crystals reconstituted with city water, fluoride, and chlorine. You'd make it taste better with copious amounts of cream and sugar. Ever had coffee at Denny's or someplace similar? Maybe your grandparents or even your parents still claim they like their coffee that way...sure they do. Therefore the GI's in WWII didn't know any better. Well we for sure know better now. The USA is at the forefront of coffee house culture and consumption, roasting quality, etc. There is no excuse for bad coffee. the rise in coffee culture has a similar arc to the rise in technology and the information age...connected? I wonder. Just as we've moved on from using fax machines, we've moved on from drinking bad coffee...well most of us.
4)Americano's are too much of a pain in the ass for something that tastes like ass. To grind, dose, tamp, clean, and pull two whole shots with a line of people at the counter is nerve-wracking. To do it for one drink is annoying. To ruin both of those carefully made shots by diluting the flavor is maddening. I could argue this same fact about many other drinks that go across my counter but do remember this is just about Americanos.
5) The war is over and your local coffee shops offer regular brewed coffee too: Thanks to the world war for bringing knowledge and love of espresso home to us in the good old USofA. Let's think about the American coffee house's offerings vs. the European coffee house's:
Europe- Espresso with varying amounts of steamed milk. Liquor
USA- Brewed coffee, french press, pour over, chemex, espresso, mocha, white mocha, chai tea latte, cappuccino, latte, breve, cortado, gibraltar, shot in the dark, red eye, decaf, iced espresso drinks, cold-brewed coffee, and the list goes on and on endlessly. some coffee shops in the states have liquor too but more often than not, they don't. sad. Back to coffee.
The American coffee houses' variety aims to replicate the coffee houses of the old country, or should I say countries. See, the French are different from the Italians whom differ from the Spanish when it comes to how they like their coffee too. Some drinks have different names but are essentially the same thing. Like the cappuccino the latte and the cafe con leche. The only difference is where you get them. If you come to the States, all of these drinks exist, sometimes at one coffee shop. Yet they are all different...Why? Because we are a bunch of pretentious idiots over here. We have to have so many choices...ALL the choices. It's like when the sexual revolution happened. We had to have all the sex with everyone that we possibly could. Then we calmed down and went into the 80's.
I've heard said that the cappuccino is just foamier than a latte and that's the only difference. Ask an Italian and they will tell you they are the only people that know how to make a true Cappuccino. Ask the French and they will tell you they don't give a fuck what the Italians think, their coffee is better. Ask the Spanish and they will look at you all stank-eyed and tell you not to worry about things so trivial when the nation is in a financial crisis. I've had the famed Primanti Brothers' Sandwich at the original location but I bet I could make a better sandwich. I'm awesome at making sandwiches and I am awesome at making coffee. So trust me, let the watering down of the espresso STOP! In the future, Americano drinkers, just get brewed coffee. It tastes better and does the same thing.
Sunday, July 1, 2012
Too damn hot
You know how my favorite pass-time(that's the phrase right? something you do to pass the time?) my favorite past time(?) is to make excuses. It's not hard to come up with reasons to not go hiking up giant poison ivy ridden treacherous set of steps. With the heat soaring into the upper 90s, i'd be doing a disservice to my fragile frame if i merely attempted the steps this past week. I can't even get into the car or get up the steps to the house. It's hard and I whine and bitch. I have been plotting routes whilst in the comfort of the air conditioned bedroom of mine. But guess what, my laptop died. It's given up. All I can do now is give up too. I know you're thinking "but Ben, if your laptop died how are you blogging right now?" well, Miss inquisitive, because I have a netbook. Only problem is, it can't run Google Earth. So there. EXCUSES! STOP JUDGING ME!!! I think in the Autumn once all the vegetation is completely burnt dry by the sun's unrelenting berating of toxic invisible death rays, I will once again strap on the hiking tennis shoes, slather on the sunscreen, and get back tot he races. Or maybe I'll find something else to complain about by then.
Tuesday, June 26, 2012
City View
Today I made time for steps. Yes, MADE TIME FOR...I hate that phrase. It reminds me of Julia Roberts in "Eat, Pray, Love". I have never actually seen that movie nor have I read the book. All I picture, in fact, is Julia Roberts with that damn spoon in her damn mouth...
"...Today, I am going to make time for my yoplait and make time for myself...I am going to eat this, pray about it, and love it. me time..." I mean, what is she really doing but looking horribly orally fixated. Now, I like to eat, I don't pray, and love is like all other 4 letter words... When you "make time for yourself" you're being an idiot. Savor that activia, Jamie Lee. ALL time is yours, Dummy. Whose else is it?
So ANYWAY...I went to this ghetto-ass neighborhood today to walk steps. I tried going there a while ago but practically got chased away with torches because I don't eat squirrels nor do I have sex with members of my family. (maybe they just smelled the "gay" on me; I don't know.) I just felt uneasy and unwelcome. Only in Pittsburgh will you find back woods hill people living mere yards away from some of the most technologically advanced and cultured people in the world. It's very dynamic to say the least.
Spring Hill/City View. It's technically one neighborhood, folks. Why? Because after literally half of these respective neighborhoods' voting populations decided to hightail it out to Cranberry during the housing boom/bubble in the 1980s, they had to beg/plead to keep their delegation. The only way to do that was to join forces. A merger if you will.
Now I can say from experience that these two completely different, distinct neighborhoods have only a border to share in common. City View by name alone calls to mind a nice part of town with, duh, a good view of the city... and...well...yep. The view is pretty great. IRONICALLY this is also the shittier of the two. While there 5 or 6 really nice houses in City View they are completely isolated from the rest of the neighborhood by topography. There are 5 or 6 beautiful examples of Victorian splendiferousness with yards and gardens and security cameras and all that shit. Then, there are some 50 or so boarded up row houses and a ton of trash lying around, crumbling retaining walls, burnt out buildings, groundhogs, overgrown underbrush, rust, and general decay. It's just silly.
Then Spring Hill appears around the corner. They don't have the view because dumb Troy Hill is in the way, but wow, it's stable, populated, well kept, and full of interesting twists and turns, nice homes, it's airy and clean...I don't get it really. Welcome to Pittsburgh...
So ANYWAY...I went to this ghetto-ass neighborhood today to walk steps. I tried going there a while ago but practically got chased away with torches because I don't eat squirrels nor do I have sex with members of my family. (maybe they just smelled the "gay" on me; I don't know.) I just felt uneasy and unwelcome. Only in Pittsburgh will you find back woods hill people living mere yards away from some of the most technologically advanced and cultured people in the world. It's very dynamic to say the least.
Spring Hill/City View. It's technically one neighborhood, folks. Why? Because after literally half of these respective neighborhoods' voting populations decided to hightail it out to Cranberry during the housing boom/bubble in the 1980s, they had to beg/plead to keep their delegation. The only way to do that was to join forces. A merger if you will.
Now I can say from experience that these two completely different, distinct neighborhoods have only a border to share in common. City View by name alone calls to mind a nice part of town with, duh, a good view of the city... and...well...yep. The view is pretty great. IRONICALLY this is also the shittier of the two. While there 5 or 6 really nice houses in City View they are completely isolated from the rest of the neighborhood by topography. There are 5 or 6 beautiful examples of Victorian splendiferousness with yards and gardens and security cameras and all that shit. Then, there are some 50 or so boarded up row houses and a ton of trash lying around, crumbling retaining walls, burnt out buildings, groundhogs, overgrown underbrush, rust, and general decay. It's just silly.
Then Spring Hill appears around the corner. They don't have the view because dumb Troy Hill is in the way, but wow, it's stable, populated, well kept, and full of interesting twists and turns, nice homes, it's airy and clean...I don't get it really. Welcome to Pittsburgh...
Monday, June 11, 2012
I know it's been a long time since I've posted. I'm sorry to all 4 of you that follow my blog. I try to keep the topic focused on step climbing and I just haven't been doing much of it lately. A shame, I know. I have been so wrapped up with work. I pour a lot of thought and creative energy into both the Crested Duck and Cannon Coffee that i have little to spare for things like exercise. That and my allergies morphed into a gigantic sinus/ ear infection over the last month. I feel like Liza Minelli's character from Arrested development with the loss of equilibrium and all. I'd dare not attempt a step trek and tempt fate to have me topple to my doom all because of a silly inner ear problem.
Pittsburgh's non-existent winter and its super wet spring has caused the vegetation to simply burst with wild new growth. At times, I have felt it necessary to bring a machete just to walk to my house. It's absolutely beautiful, though. The poison ivy is treacherous and everywhere it seems too. I got a tiny bit on my arm already and this is me not even trying to get out and hike steps. I wish I had a nice camera.
Pittsburgh's non-existent winter and its super wet spring has caused the vegetation to simply burst with wild new growth. At times, I have felt it necessary to bring a machete just to walk to my house. It's absolutely beautiful, though. The poison ivy is treacherous and everywhere it seems too. I got a tiny bit on my arm already and this is me not even trying to get out and hike steps. I wish I had a nice camera.
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